I finally got around to posting some of the recent sermons I’ve been recording at GFC.

Sept 9 - Clay Hudson
Sept 19 - Dan Green
Sept 23 - Nathan DeWitt
Oct 7 - Clay Hudson
Oct 14 - Clay Hudson
Oct 21 - Clay Hudson

Once I get gfc’s website completed (probably not until the semester’s over, unfortunately) I’ll have a more permanent home for these sermons. Oh, and the post-production is very slow (read: non-existent) so some of the recordings have minutes of silence at the beginning and/or end of the track. If you want to clean any of them up, contact me and we’ll go from there.

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Sometimes, Ezra gets mad at me.

You see, he believes that his diaper should never actually be wet. I’ve tried to reason with him, but he won’t have any of it. While he is a sharp 3-month old, he is still quite unreasonable. He cries, and I change his diaper. All is well with the world. We return to being happy.

Except for when he gets mad at me. I may take too long finding the wipes. The diaper might stick to itself. His head will touch the cold leather of the couch back. The sun is in his eyes. The wind is too cold. The dog licks his foot. He might be tired. He may be hungry. The point is, sometimes after I fix the problem he’s still mad at me. Ezra holds me responsible.

Here’s what he does. He turns away from me. He is aloof. When Ezra is mad at me, he refuses to look me in the eye. I keep moving to meet his gaze, and he keeps that thousand-yard stare, turning his head ahead of me. I think he knows that if he looks at me, he’ll see a father who loves him, one who makes him laugh. But he’s not in a laughing mood, because his diaper had the audacity to be wet and touch his skin at the same time! This is, of course, my fault. It could never be his fault, he’s the victim.

I marvel at how much like me he is. You see, I do the exact same thing. When stuff happens, just normal stuff, like my car getting bird poop on it, or my feet hurting, or not being able to solve a problem at work, or being betrayed by a friend, or missing a favorite tv show, or dropping a scoop of ice cream on the floor, or getting whacked in the privates by a huge dog tail… I take it out on God. Sometimes God is chastising me, sometimes it’s just the rain that falls on the just and the unjust, and sometimes it’s my own fault. But it seems my response is the same. I turn away from God.

I’m not saying that I “backslide” or become atheist or anything. But I simply stop gazing on the Beautiful One. He is still trying to meet my gaze, but I refuse to meet his eyes.

Jeremiah the prophet had this same problem. Jeremiah 15:18 records Jeremiah accusing God of being a stream whose waters will dry up when you least expect them. Jeremiah was going through a rough time, and he accused God of not gazing at him anymore. God responds to him in Jer 15:19 by saying “If you return to me… ” God had not stopped looking at Jeremiah, but rather Jeremiah is the one that had drifted. The last part of 19 has God telling Jeremiah that the people may turn to heed Jeremiah’s word, but that Jeremiah must not turn to them.

Why do we refuse to gaze on Him? Why do we look to our surroundings? Peter was focusing on Jesus, walking on the waters. When he focused on his circumstances, he began to sink. Do you have bills? Fine. Do you have problems at work? Ok. Are your friends deserting you? Did you stub your toe? Miss an episode of The Office? Do not let these issues draw your attention from the One Thing. That One Thing that we are to live for, to give our lives for.

Oh God, whisper your name again, but this time, this time, let wonder arise in my heart! Let me gaze at you; purify my heart with your intense, burning gaze. I am a man with an unclean tongue in a perverse generation - give me clean hands and a mouth that glorifies your name continually. Let me walk worthy of my calling.

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